community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
