Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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