I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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