Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
NoShamevember. You game?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
