i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
