That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have already put on my inside pants.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
