He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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