I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
