i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
