Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
