There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
