i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
