Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
