If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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