I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
