He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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