why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
