Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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