Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize