I threw up into my coffee this morning.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
