exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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