Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
