I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
