I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
