I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
