I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
