Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
