People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
