Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
