what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i think i scared a bird with my dick
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
NoShamevember. You game?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
