I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
