dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
