i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
