Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
