my sisters under your porch take her home
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i think my cat just said my name.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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