But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
