I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i permit you to call me
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
