you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
