Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
