They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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