This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
