ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
