Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
