We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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