hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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