don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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