the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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