All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
