What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
