just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
