I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
