you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
