32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
