just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
