WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
