drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
