Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me

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(+61): View more from Australia

I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.

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(916): View more from California

my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.

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(815): View more from Illinois

i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.

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(972): View more from Texas

Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

this is not real life

(1-267): View more from Pennsylvania

it never is. after midnight never counts.

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(209): View more from California

You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!

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