We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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