I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
