Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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