Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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