i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
