I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
